Pearls of an Oyster

    

Returned Call II - Advanced Features

  Leading on From My Last Post...

Why Stop at Phone Calls...

"Our Endoscope is Broken, But Luckily Nurse has Her Mobile Phone Camera... it's Quite Small" 

P.S. If Your Phone Rings in My Room... I'll Make Sure the Charger Goes in Too!!!

Returned Call

You Wouldn't Believe the Number of Times I've Sat Down To Listen To Patients Concerns, Only for Their Phones Go Off ! & What's With the Dance Music (Ringtones), all Cheerful & Energetic! I Mean Last I Checked My Patients Are all Depressed & Obese. The Irony is Killing Me! To Make Matters Worse They Always Answer, Have a Lengthy Chat & Then Apologise!

I Want To Pull My Hair Out!

Well Now I've Decided...

If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em!

Addiction

I Haven't Done Any Definitions For a While Now,
So Here Goes...

Craving = To Desire Eagerly, To Long For, To Want Greatly, To Require, To Beg or Plead for...

No! That's Not Me Addicted To My Laptop...
That's Me Trying To Work Whilst Withdrawing!

I'm Not Sure What's Going on With the Left Eye Though! 

All Eyes on Me

Bored!

I've Been Sat in This Chair Since 9am (That's 5 Hours)... I'm Not Amused... I Best Go Stretch My Legs Before the Next Lot of Patients are Due... That's if I Can Unglue My Bottom From its Current Temporary Residence!!

 

Just Like We Dreamed It

Come a Little Closer... Come a Little Closer
Turn Another Page in the Story of What's Waiting for You

Step into the Wonder... Step into the Wonder
Of Everything You've Pictured, as it Comes into View

Just Like We... (Oh) Just Like We... (Yeah!)
Just Like We Dreamed it!

Once Upon a Time Used To Be Long Long Ago
Used To Be Far Far Away
Look How Far We've Come Today

Once Upon a Time is Suddenly Right Here & Now
Right Before Our Eyes
This Happy Ending's Just Beginning & Much To My Surprise

It's Just Like We Dreamed it
As Far as I Can See
It's Just Like We Dreamed it
As Good as Good Can Be
& I Know it's so Much Better
'Cause We Dreamed it up Together
Just Like We Dreamed it, to life! Magically...

...

Bonjour

Exams

 

I'm Sick & Tired of Exams... Especially the Ones You Turn Up Late Too!!!

Flu

First it was Mad Cow Disease, Then (the) SARS Virus, then Bird Flu & Now Swine Flu!

If I See One More Patient Who Thinks Their Infected With the 'Whatever's on TV Virus'...  I'll Give Them a Flu To Be Worried About... 'Made in Pakiland'... Specially Produced at the Bottom of a Village Swimming Pool (aka the Village Sewage Collection)...

*

Fat Chance

Doctors Are Calling for a Tax on Chocolate To Tackle the Problem of Obesity... I'm Surprised...

(Why?...) Because at My Surgery Patients Will Blame Everything But Chocolate for Their Excess Weight. P.S. I love Chocolate (& I'm Slim*) & am Sick of Being Penalised for Other Peoples Lack of Disclipine! What Next? Health Warnings & Pictures of Obese People on Wrappers (as With Cigarettes)! Grow Up (no Pun Intended... Grow = Body Size lol).

NB = Obese = BMI over 30

   

Sex Ed

Did You Have Any Formal Sex Education at School?

Unlike Today (Where Kids Are Taught At Primary School), My Generation Didn't Get Any Teaching About the 'Birds & the Bees' Until... We Hit the Geriatric Stage!

Yup We Missed Out All Together! We Can Thank Our Parents for That! They Must Have Thought We Knew About it Already (Hence Their Calls for Extra Maths & Science Instead!).

Home Schooling for the Subject Was a No No. So God Knows Where They Thought We Learnt it From?